Take On More Than You Can Handle

  • October 22, 2018 |
  • 9:23 am |
  • Ed Nissen, MSW, LCSW

Human beings are quite capable of tremendous endeavors, creations, and ideas. We have sent people into space, harnessed radio waves, invented computers, and developed cures for many illnesses. Being intimidated by goals and obstacles is natural. Being intimidated to the point of being immobilized by the fear and sheer immensity of the obstacle indicates doubt in one’s capacity to overcome particular problems. Part of the problem lies in the level of difficulty people assign to a problem. People tend to preemptively decide that a problem is too great to handle with their current skillset. This is typically an indication of a person’s confidence to manage the problem. For instance, if you believe your relationship issues are daunting and seemingly impossible to manage, then your confidence in your ability to overcome the challenges of personal relationships might be low. People typically manage most relationship issues relatively well. However, from the moment they realize a particular issue is too much for their experience, they begin to question if the relationship can be mended. They are essentially contemplating giving up before they have tapped into their creative genius to overcome such issues.

Avoiding the Harder Problems

Although it is important to assess the severity of a problem, what is more important is how well you respond to the problem, regardless of its severity. The focus of your responses is also vital. I had a client coming to see me regarding his relationship with his live-in girlfriend. He was telling me about an argument they had. Because he had worked hard to be able to confront people with confidence and assertiveness, he was proud that he…

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